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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

WTH?!?!?! Wednesday

What a Wednesday, Folks!

During the course of my day, there were a few "celebrations"- I celebrated in this order.

#1- It ain't Monday.
#2- It's a "no meeting" day.
#3- It's nice enough to go outside for recess.
#4- I didn't have to cook (or clean up) dinner.
#5- Took a trip to Starbucks after my "duty-free" dinner.

So in the time I have been awake (17 hours) I have, on average, had something to "celebrate" every three hours- not bad if you ask me.

But it wouldn't be a "WTH Wednesday" if everything ran as planned continually-
therefore......I begin.....

Remember I told you that we were going on a "Date Night"? I told you I would have a funny story.
(Heck, I'm Squirrels...I knew there would be a funny story before we ever even left the house.....stuff just always works out like that!)

So we were headed to Nash to see Seth Meyers (love him). The tickets were part of my birthday from The Mr.
We had a nice dinner and a few grown up beverages and headed over to see the show.

We were  "snug" in our seats ready for it to begin and it happened....

You know that "loud couple' that tends to be everywhere?...(no, it wasn't us)- but we heard them enter the theatre, and they were both just OBnoxious....

WHERE THE HECK do ya think they sat down?
Right behind us.

I was sure they would quiet down when the show started. I was wrong.
She felt the need to say, "Oh, my gosh- that is hilarious!!!" after every joke!
Cause that's kind of his job.....he's supposed to be hilarious, or else people wouldn't have paid to see him.

So aggravating....

And since it was a grown up show, there were grown beverages sold there, too.
Half way through, we hear a BIG SP-LASH!!!! a few seats down from a woman who had already indulged a little too much.

Oh. No.

HOW THE HECK am I supposed to get past her without slipping in her "adult libation puddle" and dying in the process!?!?!?
I really could not focus on the jokes for a bit, I was too busy  trying to develop a NEW exit strategy, in the event of a potty emergency!!
So I had to "cut myself off". There was no way I could have made it!

The seating in the theatre is regular seating. Nothing super fancy. The seats are like the "old timey" ones. You know, the ones that the arms were stationary, the seat stayed down, and there weren't any cupholders.... (although I would feel much safer if there were)-
The Mr and I tend to "fill" our seats- and not like we used to, where we were all cuddlely- now it's just our own body parts that are taking up prime realty in those tiny cushioned seats.
Not much wiggle room.

So we are kinda postioned just that one way, with the occasional adjustment.

Between hearing the "Oh My Gosh- That is So  Hilarious" and listening to Miss I've- Had- Too- Much create a "death trap" at the end of our aisle, we had to endure the smell of someone's perfume.
It was a woman. (I think).
And it was bad enough that she  had marinated in it before she got to the show, she had to REAPPLY several times throughout the show.

WHO THE HECK does that?

So many things went through my head-
Maybe she thinks it's refreshing to the rest of us.
Maybe she has no sense of smell.
Maybe she's on a first date and she's trying to cover up a smell?
I don't know, I just know that it is too much!!

I was beginning to get a headache!

The show continues- no more Boobie Traps were set and not too many more Stink Bombs were deployed.
We make it out to the valet to wait for van and I decided to get out my phone and check on the Littles.
(The Mr. had been keeping tabs on them up til that point).

 We are standing out in the cold and I smell her....I am guessing that we are very close now to the Stinky Sprayer!!!
I was going to let my nose do the detective soon as I checked on the Littles.

So I reach in and, this is strange, the inside of my purse is wet.
"Wait, I didn't spill any drinks... let me get under the light...."

Look what I found with the lid off....


Yes. It's what you think it is.

My best guess is that while The Mr and I are packed in like sardines with my purse between us, the lid came off.
And everytime we "adjusted" to get a little more comfy- WE were causing the pump to press against the inside of the purse.

So ALL those "bursts" of perfume we were getting - was coming from us!

After thinking about it,

WHY THE HECK did we not recognize the smell??? It was the SAME perfume that I was wearing!?!?!

Nothing in the purse was ruined. That was a positive.
The part that makes me laugh the most is, as much as it was bugging us- the wind had to have caught it blown it straight up to "Miss Hilarious"!!!
Karma. Gotta love it.

I leave you tonight with thoughts for sweet dreams. Why the heck can't we sleep that soundly?

Have a great Thursday!


  1. You always make me laugh!!!
    (and I love your celebrations!!)
    Crayons and Curls

  2. Hahahahahaaha! MISSY!!!! I can't believe you didn't recognize your own squirrely smell. YOU NUT!

  3. Oh my gosh - I love that! I to tally did not expect that you were the stinky sprayer. Love that it must have wafted back to the annoying woman behind you! Sounds like a fun date night. The Hubster and I fill our seats a lot more these days as well. Forty! Thanks for the great laugh!

  4. You funny lady, you! I got out of dinner duty tonight, too! My hubby finally gave up hope of me cooking and ordered pizzas!
    Swersty’s Swap Shop

  5. Hahhahahha! Time for a new purse! (Like you need one…)

  6. I look forward to your posts. As I read them my husband always asks what I am laughing at and so I share. Thank you for sharing the laughter.

  7. THATS HILARIOUS!!! Haha, but I guess it's your job to entertain me with each and every blog post, so I'll only say it once ;)
    Teaching With Style

  8. I love that. I wonder if somewhere out in blog land someone is also talking about the show, the imbiber, the lol'er, and the perfume lady. :)

    Great story and great Wednesday!

    You Might Be a First Grader...

  9. I am still laughing at this 2 days later...Stinky Squirrel!!! Love ya Squirrels!!!

    My (Not So) Elementary Life

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