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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

WTH Wednesday- There's a Bee in My Nose

Great Googly Moogly!!

Hello from the land of confusion....

Has your head stopped spinning from the beginning of the school year? Have you been able to see straight yet?
Tomorrow night is our first round of parent/teacher conference! That happens at the six week mark for us.....Did you hear that? SIX WEEKS!!!! ALREADY!

Can I just say
WHERE THE HECK did the time go?
One minute I was contemplating if a move to a new grade level was going to be a good fit for me (and for my family- cause they have to deal with me)- the next minute- I'm a fourth grade teacher!

One minute I am worried about what fabric to put on which board and the next minute I'm waiting for Benchmark tests to come!

One minute I am this crazy, frenzied, cuckoo bird squirrel and the next minute...nevermind- that one didn't change!
That's one thing that I think will remain a constant!
BWHAHAHAHA!!

Seriously though- I guess time flies when you are having fun!
(I am also pretty confident that it flies when you lose track of what day it is)!

Since we are on WTHs- I put a "bee in your bonnet" last time about a post that was  about  a bee in my nose.
I know I have told this to a few friends- if you have already heard the story...too bad - you get to suffer through it again. Consider it a review. Retell it to some one and you have met a CCSS!

During our first full week of school I was walking my class back from the playground.
(If you have never rounded up a class of first graders and then rounded up a class of fourth graders- let me tell you that the experiences are completely different! We line up in NO TIME! Really!)
I counted all of my little cuties and we are walking the sidewalk back.

So that you can have the visual I did- I want you to imagine this scene:
It's a beautiful day outside. The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. The children are laughing.

Sounds wonderful, doesn't it???
It was.

I remember thinking to myself, "Self, you made the right choice. This is the place you need to be. It's going to be a great year."

All of those glorious thoughts were swimming through my head- and then out of nowhere
I had the MOST horrible pain I have ever felt in my life-
and let me preface that with: I've had three children. One was almost 10lbs and the other was over that. I've been in a pretty bad car accident. I've had 4 surgeries. I got nailed in the head with a line drive hit when I was 16, I almost broke my toe once when I ran down the hall and slid into the baseboard, and I fell off the monkey bars once when I was 6.

These are all pretty horrible experiences- but they in NO WAY compare to the pain that I felt.
What was the pain?
Well it was the  the biggest, most fiercest, deadliest flying object EVER KNOWN TO MAN!
It was a sweat bee!!!!
At first he was just a tickle- like a little particle of dust had floated into the ole schnoze and touched the inside.
That would not have been so bad- he actually could have flown in and out and I might be telling a different story. If I hadn't done what came next- they may not have been a story at all!!

When I raised my hand to my face to shoo the silly "dust" from my nose, I guess I pushed in a little bit and when I did- I trapped it! "It" being a bee!  Apparently, he didn't like it and
BZZZZZZZZZTTTTT!
(At this point- I don't know that it was a bee. I have no idea. I just know that there has been a horrible stabbing pain in my head!!)

Our now picture perfect day at the playground has transformed into a class full of 9 year olds yelling, "Miss Squirrels! Miss Squirrels! Are you okay? What's wrong! "

I still can't speak- my nose is stinging, my eyes are watering- actually I was crying.
For realz- CRYING!
If you have ever seen my nails, you know that they are long- I poked my pinkie nail up there (still not knowing that I have AN INSECT IN MY HEAD!!!) and make a flicking motion.
Thank goodness I did! Because my nail caught him and it flicked him right out!
Then I was able to figure out what was going on.
It actually happened in this order:

poke > flick > exit > bounce.

The poke was my finger. The flick was my nail. The exit was the bee. The bounce? The bounce was the bee BOUNCING OFF THE HEAD OF ONE OF MY SWEETIES!!!! HA HA!

So I hand my keys to one of my girls and she lets us into the room. I go straight to the tissues. At this point I am still crying. And I am not talking "eyes-are-kind-of-watery" crying. Nope. I am "I-am-5-and-I-just-fell-off-my-bike-and-I-think-I'm-going-to-die" crying.

The kids are still in a tizzy and who walks by? Asst Pal, of course!! She starts freaking out a little, neighbor teacher across the hall is asking a ton of questions that I can't answer because I am doing that talk-between-breaths thing while crying. I was a hot mess!

And lucky for me- grade level recess is RIGHT before dismissal- so now I get to WALK THE HALLS with these great big tears and a line full of children who keep blurting out things in the hall like:
"A bee flew up her nose!" Miss Squirrels has a bee in her nose!"

WHAT THE HECK!?!?! Who else do you know that that could happen to? Okay, I know this one other girl...but really- it was crazy!
I had a "lump" in the inside of my nose for a week! And when it happened, everyone kept asking if I was allergic. I cannot remember (if ever) the last time I was stung by a bee. So my squirrely little brain starts thinking over time..... Oh my Goodness- I'm going to die! What if I have developed an allergy!
Thank goodness that didn't happen- but I swear the back of my throat was itchy and I may have felt like I couldn't breathe for a few hours!

On this same day I received my One Line a Day journal in the mail.....


Good Gravy.

Well, Where The Heck did the time go this evening?
I have a few more things to get ready for my day tomorrow.

I hope tomorrow brings you all the laughs and giggles you need to get through your day!
Toodles!

8 comments:

  1. Waking up with a stuffed nose or rather head and reading a new WTH Wednesday especially this one ;-) makes it all better :-) Thank you!

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  2. You know, if you had been allergic, like really allergic that could have really ended way more badly. The good news is that the children know you're human, just like them, so it'll have a bonding effect. :o)

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  3. Wow, I 'm sure I would have been balling like a 5 year old too! I got poked in the leg with a pencil sharpened by the World's quietest Pencil Sharpener last year, I couldn't help it it hurt really bad. I'm sure my class was looking at me like what in the world is wrong with this lady? I'm glad the poke and flick worked!

    Kelly
    I'm Not Your Grandpa, I'm Your Teacher

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just had to comment on this story. First, I'm sorry that you had to experience that. Second, thank you for making me literally LOL!!! You are hysterical!! I love your sense of humor and the kids are lucky to have you as their teacher!!

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  5. Oh my Squirrely Girl - I'm not laughing. I'm really not. Because that wouldn't be nice. Right?

    You poor, poor thing - I hope you've recovered from the trauma of it all..

    Hugs!!!!!!

    Holly
    Crisscross Applesauce in First Grade

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  6. Holly nailed my thoughts exactly . . . I shouldn't be amused so much with this one. It's a shocked amusement really. I actually giggled with my mouth slightly agape . . . BIG HUGS my friend. This is definitely one for the memory books. Merry Thursday :)

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  7. Cracking up because of your story telling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I would have died.

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  8. Oh my goodness, this is horrifying and terrifying and I might never go to recess again. If this were me, I would be laying on the ground dying because my 5th graders don't know how to use an Epi Pen. If I did live, there is zero chance I could ever brave outdoor recess. My class would be condemned to indoor recess...and we know how terrible that would be. Bless you!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for leaving some "Nutty Chatter!"

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