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Monday, May 25, 2015

Are Those Yours?

Those who know me, know that there are a couple of things that I just don't like to do.  It is very unfortunate that these two things come together every weekend. Shopping and cooking.  
I missed out on those genes. I do not have them. 
Don't get me wrong, I like "stuff" and I LOVE "food". But I loathe having to go out for the "stuff" or the food. I would have been a terrible cave woman. No hunting. No foraging. I would just have my raw meat delivered. 

But every week I ask for input, I make a menu, which turns into a list, and then that turns into a map that I take to the store. Not because I am super mom (but thank you). Not because I am a super chef. (They'll vouch for that). It's because I need to have a plan. I have to know what we are having because these henchmen we call children wake up asking "What's for dinner tonight?" Every morning. Without fail. 
There is no "winging it". No plan used to easily lend itself to "I'll run through a drive through. " And while we may not be the healthiest squirrels on the planet, we do steer away from fast food as much as we can. 

I even keep a notebook so that i can reference what we have had in past weeks. This serves two purposes. It keeps us from having the same thing too close together while also giving us ideas from meals we've already had. 

Often times I take one of the NSLs (Not So Littles) with me to man the cart while I dart in and out of the slow people.  They also hold the list, pick up heavy stuff, load bags into the cart, and then into the van. They come in pretty handy. 

Every once in awhile The Mr. goes with me. He also holds the list, picks up the heavy stuff, loads the bags into the cart, and then into the van. He also drives. And sometimes takes me for a coffee- so he's a pretty good choice for the trip. 

Today we got a late start. We try to get in and out early, but today was a little slower. He even helped me find two new recipes. So we got all the ingredients compiled into a list and got ready to go. Since it's rainy and crappy outside, I decided to go with the comfy jeans and hoodie combo. It's a classic. It was also easily accessible because it was in a basket of unfolded laundry. 
The hoodie also makes it easy to keep up with my pen for the list and the coupons.  

My game plan is to always do any HBA first, then I go towards the back and start on the food. Meat is always next to last and bread is always dead last. I have a fear of bacteria growing in my meat while I push the cart around looking for other stuff and then we die later. And I hate it when my bread gets smushed because they will act like they're dying if their bread is an odd shape. Other than that, I navigate through  aisles based on slow families and people I am trying to avoid because I don't want to talk to them. 

I have my standard items that are ALWAYS on the list- lunch meat, cheese, waters, coffee. Then there are those items that are specific to a certain recipe- cilantro, pesto, certain shredded cheeses. 
Today we decided to check out some healthy snack alternatives since the NSLs are going to be home more. I thought it would be good to look at some granola or fruit bars. That way they get a little sweet- but not full on candy sweet. 
I don't think I've ever read the nutrition info on a granola or fruit bar, so I had The Mr.  grab a box so we could compare. 
We are standing there in the granola/ cereal aisle comparing calories, sugars, and portions. I had to put everything in my classic hoodie pocket so my hands would be free to hold more than one box. He leans over to grab a box from towards the bottom shelf and says "Hey, what's that?"
I look down at my feet to see what he's talking about. 
My eyes focus. It appears to be a mint colored cloth. 
"Are those underwear?", he asks. 
Yes. Yes, they were underwear. 
"Are those yours?"
"Did they fall out of your hoodie?"

I stuttered. I stammered. And then threw out a quick "No! I don't have any mint undies!"
We stand there for a minute while he asks again and again if I'm sure. Like I'm going to pick them up and check!?! Like I write my name in them!?! 
He throws the boxes of granola bars that we both have in our hands into the cart and says, "Well let's move away from here- who knows what's been going on!" So we moved on down to the end of the aisle to pick out cereal. 

Ya'll know what I'm getting ready to say, don't you? 

He was right! They were either caught inside my hoodie and fell out when I weighed it down with all the stuff. Or they were in the pant leg of my comfy jeans and just shimmied their way out while we were walking.  
Either way- the ONE pair of mint un"mint"tionables that I own got swept away by a stranger at the grocery store today! A woman KNOWS her underwear!!
I couldn't tell him they were mine. I just couldn't. Ya'll will laugh WITH me- he would never let this go!! NEVER! Thank goodness one of the NSLs wasn't with me - I could only imagine the scene!!!
Can you imagine being the next person who ponders over which granola bar to buy? The next conversation to be had in front of the fruit bars? "Hon, what's that? Are they yours? Are you sure?"
In a tiny (very minuscule) way I feel bad for not being honest with him - but it's not something I won't get over pretty soon. 
We made it through the rest of trip without me losing any other under garments. But, Lord, I was nervous! I kept looking behind me just to be sure I wasn't leaving a trail!

As tense as it was, at least it was more exciting than normal. Usually the most exciting thing is the price difference after she takes off the coupons!! 

So what's our take away today, folks? 
Make a list. Plan ahead. Take a shopping buddy. And fold your clothes!!


  1. That's funny. Once I had my slip fall down while in the grocery store. I was just walking and felt something funny around my feet. I bent over, stepped out of it, and quickly picked it up and just kept walking like nothing happened!

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